This extremely undignified image of the sheep being sheared is pretty much how I feel about my appearance these days.
My physical appearance has already changed drastically in the last month. While I was in the Beijing hospital I lost a lot of weight
because I wasn't really eating and so I was smaller than normal when I returned. However, since then with being on certain meds, I have gained weight, my body has been holding water and I have broken out in my first ever case of acne.
Strangely enough, it isn't any one thing about my changing appearance that bothers me, but rather that it changes and fluctuates everyday. I don't recognize myself when I look in the mirror anymore and any secrets I had to improve "flaws" (both real or imagined) have been rendered useless.
Now with having started my radiation treatments I will also be losing my hair in 5-10 patches of varying size. I have (in good spirits) joked with James that he will soon have his own personal Gollum, stroking his arm and calling him My Precious.
Yesterday, in order to avert this tragic mental image, we took the bull by the horns (or if you prefer, me by my wool) and shaved the hair off into a very smart looking buzz cut. I'm not as cute as a freshly shorn sheep, but it'll do.
My dear sister Rachel, in a very unselfish, bold and supportive move also shaved off her entire long, beautiful, curly ponytail. This beautiful mane is being donated to Cancer Care. I wasn't sure if I should cry for the loss of two heads of hair, or for how unselfish it was on her part. Here she is below, ponytail half off. See how similar we look! The boys have not been done yet because our razor kept running out of battery power. Maybe today.