Mind your own Business Name

 

From time to time, one encounters a shop with a humorous name here in Beijing.  We're certain that the Chinese version must be tremendously elegant, or evocative of some deep poetic emotion.  But to the illiterate English speaker, it just comes across as bizarre.

 

This is also true of the sales slogan or product blurb that often follows the brand name.  For example, I bought a notebook with this written on the cover:

 

Last week we picked up a plastic tub to put our spices into (the smell of ground cumin was beginning to permeate the kitchen).  The box is green, with a plain white lid, but the manufacturer seems to think it's really quite something:

 

 

We passed a bank yesterday with an English sign that said "Self-Serving Bank".

 

Not far down the road, you can deposit your money at a financial institution called "Wooribank". Should I been "woori-ing"?

Nearby is an optical store near us called "Beauty and Shine Eyesight".  The list goes on.  And on.  None of them are so weird that you think, "That can't be what they meant".  In fact, most suffer from overly literal translations.  I'm sure we'll have more in the future.

 

Jess thinks China has Canada beat in Public Health and Fitness

 

Having obtained my undergrad in Human Nutritional Sciences and been privy to many a discussion on how to increase public health and fitness, I feel I can recognize a good health initiative when I see it.  We have seen around the city these outdoor setups (beside busy highways, outside of shops and restaurants) with workout equipment in the style of playground materials.  They look the same way that a digging machine would look in a child's sandbox in a Canadian park, but the variety of machines is amazing.  Rowing machines, bicycles, walking/cross-country skiing machines, and many more (some of which are quite unrecognizable but fun anyway).  The most amazing part is that you see people of all ages on all of these things, dutifully working out, right in the middle of busy public places!  I don't think anyone would use them if they were in Canada!

So when we went to the park yesterday we were quite pleased to see one of these fitness stations set up there.  Two rousing matches of basketball were happening with the competitors breathing hard and sweating.  So we figured we would treat our blog viewers to a tour of Jess' public workout.  The reason I look so strange in most of these pictures is that I was laughing pretty hard and the wind was blowing my hair all over the place (so it wasn't nearly as frazzled as it looks!).

Walking Machine?

The "Walking Machine" is quite crazy.  Once you start swinging your legs in it you can't stop because the momentum is so fast.  I think its purpose is to keep your legs limber because you have to be flexible.  It feels hilarious to have your legs wildly swinging with unnatural fluidity!  That is the reason why I am laughing so crazily in that picture.

 

Skiing Machine

Rowing Machine

This picture I won't add, but at the end of the workout, there are also massage machines (rolling bumpy bars that you can slide up and down your back and legs with ease).  A complete package!  As long as you don't mind doing it in crowds of people and risking being hit by the flying basketballs and rowdy players!  We had a lot of fun!

 

Ab-Master Ari

We couldn't believe how many families we saw in the park yesterday, exercising, playing and generally having a good time.  In Beijing you also see a lot of eighty year olds riding their bikes (as slow as you please!) in the middle of five lane busy traffic.  I think its great!  Especially considering how many campaigns I saw created in university, designed to get elderly people into exercise programs.  The research behind being active, if possible (even at 80 years of age), strongly shows better health.  People experience fewer falls and bone breaks, and a generally increased quality of life.  Watching the Chinese elderly, I would be inclined to agree!  They are wreathed with smiles as they mosey along at their comfortable pace!  I love it!

Have Kite, Will Fly

 

Greetings from the Mainland!

 

By 3:00 this afternoon we were all feeling a little cooped up and grumpy.  "Let's go to the park!" I said, in code.  P-A-R-K, so that Ari didn't get prematurely excited.  Jessica agreed.  The park would be just the thing on a fine, sunny Sunday afternoon.

 

The park in question is located about 2 kilometers from our house, and is absolutely enormous.  With wide open spaces and no power lines nearby, it's a prime spot to let out a bit of string and put up a kite.  And it just so happened that I brought my kite from Canada - a blue L.L. Bean kite with a long tail.

 

Actually, that kite has a long history.  My mom bought it for me when we were leaving for Cambodia.  She informed me that Cambodian boys like flying kites (with the probable implication that I would like flying kites too).  However, whether through neglect or general distractedness, I never flew the kite.  I don't even know if I took it out of the bag.  But as we packed the bags for China, I saw it there, and tossed it in.

 

Even before we reached the park, we could see dozens of kites in the air.  The sky was peppered with them, some sailing unbelievably high, appearing motionless.  Inside, we found people of all ages, some there with their children, or their spouse, or even by themselves, all with a spool of twine in hand.

 

The boys loved chasing the kite's tail, getting completely tangled in the ribbons.  My kite must be a "trick" kite, because it does all sorts of spirals and figure-eights.  Because the tail is at least 10 feet long, it is really very pretty to watch.

 

But not nearly as pretty as some of the other kites on display.  I  had the sensation I was entering into a club, where horsepower and chrome were traded for wingspan and size of spool.  Some folks had kites that were easily 6 feet across, while others had massive mechanical spools with hundreds of feet of twine.

 

 

An unexpectedly fun feature to the whole affair was that the few trees that are scattered about the park seem to be magnets for kites.  It's great (in a sick sort of way) to watch a kite spin and wheel out of control, veering unerringly for the trees.  Everyone's eyes are fixed on the ill-fated creation, some cringing, some grinning with open-mouthed anticipation. And of course, it's impossible that a kite should merely become lodged in a tree.  They become ensnared.  Woven, even.

 

But it's not all bad.  I made friends with two couples as I helped them retrieve their kites.  It helps that I am 6 inches taller than them, and that I found a really long stick.

 

Getting out was really good for all of us.  First of all, it was good to get some fresh air, take in the sights, and go somewhere that the boys could run around and horseplay without fear of getting lost or trampled.  But even more than this, it was nice that we picked a place to go, went, and enjoyed it.  A bit of a feeling of independence, I guess.

 

Here are a few shots of the many kites that were out today.  Because they were so high, my camera just captured a blurry image.  So I played around a bit.

 

Do these Chopsticks come with a Warranty?

 

Greetings from the Mainland!

 

So far, Beijing stands out as the most internally well-connected city I have ever lived in.  I say 'internally', because I have no idea how it connects with other cities in China.  But within the Ring Roads, it is really quite amazing how easily a body can get from Point A to Point B.

 

Of course, whenever you have some 16-million-plus humans (and their cars, buses, motorcycles, scooters and even horse-drawn carts) in one spot, the traffic is going to get bad.  We were hung up on one section of highway for a while the other day, crawling along.  But if we take that as an unavoidable side-effect of massive population density, and set it aside, then Beijing is doing pretty well.  Alternately stated, if half the population of Canada lived in one city, what do you think traffic would be like?

 

We've already become fairly comfortable taking the bus to various destinations.  It's amazing how we're now able to determine where we are along a route, when only a week ago, it seemed impossible to distinguish a single landmark.  It was all massive intersections with enormous high-rise buildings and red flags flying everywhere.  But now I look up from my book to see the hospital, or the newsstand that sells copies of "Dogs" magazine (this month's issue has a special feature on bull terriers).

 

And now the subway.  It's fast and affordable.  We paid about 40 cents each to get from our subway stop (TaiYangGong) to downtown. 

Kathi took us downtown, not for a major sightseeing expedition, but rather to give us a sense of where things are, and how to get there in the future.  We ended up just a few blocks from Tiananmen Square, in a major shopping area.

This street is apparently considered to be the oldest shopping street in Beijing.  Most of the shops are very modern and rather pricey, but some are old indeed.

 

Some of the shops begged to be entered, but we didn't really have time to browse.  More than that, a 150-year-old silk store is not exactly the place you bring two over-tired children under the age of 4.

 

I don't know about you, but there's something intriguing about tea that costs $50 for 100 grams.  I'm sure that the tea connoisseurs of the world feel very good about spending that kind of money.  But us bourgeois mongrels must be satisfied with Red Rose.  At least it comes with an animal figurine.

 

And lastly, we have a shop that devotes itself solely to the purveyance of chopsticks.  And why not?  Perhaps they offer them in a variety of woods.  Teak, mahogany, ironwood and koa.  Stainless steel for the germ-freaks of the world.  Narwhal ivory for the big spenders?  Or perhaps there is a selection for the big-n-tall folks?  Miniatures for midgets?  Needle-nose tips for those inclined to eat especially small food?  Rubber tips for those inclined to eat especially slippery food?

 

Oh the possibilities are endless!

 

The Crystal Ship is Being Filled

 

Greetings from the Mainland!

 

I ought to cut George Lucas some slack.  He's a relatively creative guy.  But in many ways, he just strung together a bunch of cliches.  In his hexalogy, he provides us with o.5-dimensional characters with names like General Grievous.  If the movies didn't reek of heavy infusions of raw cash (I get the impression that Lucas mainlined dollar bills the entire time I-III were being made), Binx and other gaffe-factories would send the series into B-Land.

 

What am I even talking about?  I'll tell you.  Last night, as Jessica and I practiced our Chinese lessons for the day, we came to a startling realization.  Mandarin tones, as difficult as they may be, are easy as pie if you know the secret: speak like Master Yoda.

 

It's true.  The up-and-down warbling becomes a breeze.  Unfortunately, it requires that you sound like Yoda.  This might be OK if you're in the 70+ range (I've heard a few venerable men on the street who certainly fit the bill), but I would probably come across as a bit of a lunatic.

 

All this to say that I've sawn into the pithy core of George Lucas' cliche tree, and I find it generally grievous.

 

But while we're on the subject of Yoda, here's a apt pic:

 

Pity the poor Fu!

 

In other news, we've learned to love our Crystal Ship.  Some of you may be aware that it was a point of amusement and severe cultural disconnect for us.  "What on earth would ever inspire someone to buy this?" we asked.  "What a hideous combobulation!" and "The use of glass has never been so misguided!"  But two weeks have passed, and the Crystal Ship has sailed into the harbour of our hearts.

 

I thought I'd include a nice shot of the vessel in full sail, with its special halogen light beaming down upon it:

 

Here are a few more photos I've taken in the past few days.  Forgive the low quality.  They were taken with the camera in my phone.  (Yes, we have phones now... I never owned a cellphone in Winnipeg, and it feels strange to carry one now.  Sort of like 'packing heat'.)

 

The shot above was taken at our bus stop in the morning, on the way to class.  The sky was hazy and the air was surprisingly cold.  I believe that the stack is part of a steam generation plant that heats the surrounding neighbourhood.  The heat in our building is all put off by radiators.  Apparently, the heat is turned on perforce on Nov. 15th, and is turned off systematically on Mar. 15th.  Minus 40 on the first day of Spring?  Tough cookies!  Hope you've got long johns!

And of course, the banners that fly from every peak, perch and pole.  I've decided I like them.